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Auto Repair


AFTER I purchased my pickup truck, I bought a book on gasoline engines to avoid being ripped off at the service station.  The first time I took the truck in for repairs, I smugly wrote down what the problem was and what needed to be fixed.  That night, when I returned for the truck, I found this note attached to the windshield: "I fixed the problem in your truck, but in order for me to fix the problem you described, you'll have to bring in the lawn mower.  I suggest you go back a couple of chapters.  My wife has the same book."

ONE of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation. "The repairs I made," I noted, "were to the other side."

A man and his wife arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, but were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As they watched from the passenger's side, the guy instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," the man announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."

WHILE I waited at a service station for my car to be tuned, a woman drove up in a clunker that rattled, wheezed and coughed to a stop in a cloud of smoke. She rolled down her window and asked the attendant if she could wait while it was being fixed. "Sure," replied the attendant. "It'll take awhile, but get your things. You can sleep over there under the oil racks."

WHEN the fan belt wore out on his car, my friend Steve used a little old fashioned ingenuity and replaced it with a pair of his wife's panty hose. Unaware of this repair job, she drove off to get gas, and asked the service station attendant to check the oil.  He did.  And as he came back to her window he seemed to have trouble not laughing. "Oil's fine," he managed to get out.   "But it looks like you need to change your panty hose!"

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Last updated May 19, 2008 by Becquet's Custom Programming