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Hair Salon


MANY people hold down two jobs, so I wasn't surprised when my hairdresser mentioned to me that he also worked part time at the racetrack. "That's interesting," I said. "What do you do?" As he finished styling my hair, he replied, "I groom horses."

HAIRDRESSERS, like bartenders, are expected to lend a sympathetic ear as needed. One Friday morning a regular customer came in, sat down and, as I flung the cape around her neck, asked, "Now where did I leave off last week?"

WHILE getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son. Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."

AFTER purchasing our video recorder, my wife, Cindy, and I enjoyed watching the movies and shows that were taped when we weren't home.  One day I picked Cindy up after an extremely busy day at the beauty school she was attending.   When we arrived home, she slumped into an easy chair, grabbed the remote control and said, "After a hard day's work, it sure is nice to come home and REWIND."

WHEN a new permanent turned out to be a disaster, I phoned my husband and issued a one-line warning: "Don't say anything about my hair."   During dinner, we discussed the weather, his day at the office — anything but my hair.  I began to feel uneasy.  Finally, when we were washing the dishes, he said in a serious tone, "You'd better go now.  My wife will be here any moment, and she wouldn't like to find me with a strange woman."

AS A reminder of my early morning appointment for a haircut, I left a note stating "hair today" next to the alarm clock.  The resulting style was considerably shorter than usual, which didn't please my husband at all.    However, it wasn't until the next morning that I realized just how unhappy he was with my new look.  There, next to the alarm clock, my note now read: "hair today - gone tomorrow."

MY MOTHER was telling her hairdresser about her bad luck with men, after having just broken off with her boyfriend of five years. "You think that's bad," the hairdresser responded, "I had a customer who just found out her boyfriend was married." "You're kidding!" my mother exclaimed. "How long did it take her to find out?" The hairdresser thought for a minute and began counting on her fingers. "About eight haircuts."

A BURLY fellow was having his hair styled at a hair salon when, outside, a truck slammed into a car.  Draped in plastic, his hair sectioned off with aluminum clips, the customer raced out to the car and found the driver unhurt.   The truck driver, however, was slumped over the wheel, unconscious.  The customer lost no time in applying his recently learned CPR techniques, including mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.  The trucker came to several times, but kept passing out again. Soon the paramedics arrived and took over, and the customer returned to his salon chair.  "I just don't understand why he kept passing out," he said to the hairdresser.  "I did everything they taught me."  "Well, put yourself in the truck driver's place," said the hairdresser. "He's driving down the street without a care in the world.  The next thing he knows, he's waking up to see some big guy in a green cape with a head full of wires pounding on his chest and kissing him.  You'd pass out too!"

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Last updated May 19, 2008 by Becquet's Custom Programming