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Medical School


   Students at a Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They are all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the professor started the class by telling them:
   "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that it is necessary that you don't get disgusted."
   The Professor uncovered the sheet, sunk his finger in the butt of the dead body, withdrew it, and then stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked it.
   "Go ahead and do the same thing" he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated and subsequently taking turns, sunk their finger in the butt of the dead body and sucked it after withdrawing it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them:
   "The second important quality is observation. I inserted the middle finger and sucked the index. Pay attention people.

HOSPITAL rounds were ending as we came to an elderly man whose diagnosis and treatment had been hampered by his refusal to discuss his medical history. "All these young doctors want to help you," our chief of services said. "Won't you please talk to one of them?" The patient's eyes glided warily over each of us until they fell on me. "I'll talk to that one," he said, "but everyone else has to leave the room." As a third-year medical student and the only woman in the group, I was pleased that this man had placed his trust in me. However, my moment of glory was short-lived. After the others had left, the patient looked up at me and said, "I need the bedpan."

IN HER first year as a pediatric intern, my daughter was responsible for the physical examinations of high-school athletes. When she asked one 16-year-old to strip so she could examine him, he looked at her for a moment and then, with a straight face, asked, "Does your mother know what you're doing?"

WHEN I was a senior in medical school, my class ran the outpatient clinic under supervision. Each of us had his own roster of regular patients. To help pay expenses, some of us had outside jobs on weekends. One Sunday I saw a classmate at the baseball park as he was walking the aisles in his white vendor's coat, shouting, "Hot dogs! Get your red-hots!" Suddenly, a woman spectator jumped up, pointed at him and screamed, "Oh, my God! That's my doctor!"

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Last updated May 19, 2008 by Becquet's Custom Programming