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Insurance

   

My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont.  The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"


OUR insurance agency had a contract with a lawn-care company for the maintenance of the yard at our office. One day we saw a few spots out back that had missed the attention of the gardener. My boss asked the receptionist to be alert for the fellow and to point these places out to him. When the man returned, Jane was heard saying, "Come around back and I'll show you what you've been missing."


IN MY job for an insurance company, I often use a microfiche machine to get data about our clients. Once while I was looking something up, a customer's little girl wandered over to my desk. She stood there a while, studying the names and numbers that flashed across my screen. "I can't tell," she finally said. "Are you winning?"


I WORK for an insurance brokerage firm that places unusual risks many underwriters will not assume. One day I had two such requests, so I called Lloyd's of London. Would they insure a show cat for an airplane trip, and would they insure a parrot against any physical harm? There was a pause, and then a woman responded in a clipped British accent, "Yes, we can insure a bird, or we can insure a cat, but certainly not the both together."


RADIO station CISN-FM, a sporting goods store in Edmonton and the Edmonton branch of the Canadian Progress Club sponsored a fishing derby on Lac Ste. Anne, about 60 kilometers northwest of Alberta's capital. They tagged 11 fish to be caught: 10 worth $104, the 11th worth $104,000. Lloyds of London insured the prize pike against being caught, and got hooked for $104,000 when Peter Ponich of Edmonton reeled it in.


Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.  Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."  The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that.  We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."  There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."


A WOMAN reported an accident to me at the insurance company and asked if her rates would go up. I explained that our underwriting department determines who is at fault, and rates are adjusted accordingly. Continuing the interview, I requested her license plate number. It ended in NMF and, verifying, I asked, "Is that N as in Nancy, M as in Mary, F as in Frank?" "Well, yes," she replied. "But could you please tell your underwriters that it's also N as in Not, M as in My, F as in Fault?"
   

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Last updated May 19, 2008 by Becquet's Custom Programming