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Smokers

   

   A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
   He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She
 directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits
 a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She
 says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your
 wife?"

 He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to
 the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a
 tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure that if I have
 to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"


BECAUSE we had waited so long to reserve a room in Butte, Mont., so that we could stay over after attending a concert, the major motels were booked. The Chamber of Commerce, however, gave me names of other, smaller motels. One I called had a vacancy, but when I requested a nonsmoking room, a sweet, matronly voice apologized. "We don't have any nonsmoking rooms, but I'll remove the ashtrays for you."


   MY HUSBAND, Stan, decided to give up smoking but needed help to overcome the habit. He consulted an acupuncture specialist, who inserted small needles at specific points in both his ears. "When you feel like smoking," he told Stan, "put your fingers into your ears, and press hard on the needles."
   One day shortly after, while Stan was in the elevator in his office building, he had a strong urge for a cigarette. Since only the piped-in music accompanied him in the elevator, he put his fingers into both ears, closed his eyes and concentrated on pressing on the needles. Suddenly, the elevator doors opened and there stood a dozen people waiting to get on. Feeling rather foolish, Stan sheepishly removed his fingers from his ears in time to hear one of them mutter. "I don't think the music is that bad."


   I HAD been a heavy smoker since I was a teenager, but to my surprise was able to quit "cold turkey." However, my weight shot up and I felt very self-conscious. When a friend congratulated me on giving up cigarettes, I exclaimed, "But look at all these added pounds!"
   Her reply was one I'll always treasure. "Oh, my dear, don't worry about that!" she said. "Just think of all the extra years you will have in which to lose them."

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Last updated October 02, 2015 by Becquet Enterprises