I am a director of a child care center and we have a music class every
Friday. This one Friday the music teacher was talking about what it means to be free.
He was explaining that we are all Free and have rights to say things and do things that many people could not do a long time ago.
Well one little boy in our preschool class started to get really upset at the music teacher.
The teacher asked the child what was wrong and the boy said " I'm not free I'm Four".
We all just had a great laugh.
When my son was four years old he attended a pre-school. I loved picking him up just to listen to how his world would unfold each day. One day he jumped into the car and I could tell from his face that he was going to present quite a puzzling inquiry. "Momma, what do birds have to do with the American flag?" Thinking he was talking about the eagle on top of the flag pole I proceeded to "educate" him on the national bird. "I know all of that, Momma, I'm talking about the pigeons! What do the pigeons have to do with the flag?" Well, I was at total loss but I took a deep breadth and continued the query. "What do you mean?" He then rolled his eyes and released such a sigh (just like many of us do when someone can't grasp the obvious). So, very slowly he began to instruct, "Every day we start out by saying the prayer to the flag and in it we say, 'I lead the pigeons to the flag...', I just wanted to know why?" That is how my Eagle Scout began his road toward
MY THREE year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I
was on him constantly. One day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in-between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked
my seven month-old daughter; she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had
not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him, and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident," and
I didn't have any clothes with me. Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did
not have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had, because the
smell was getting worse. So.........I asked one more time. "Matt, did you have an accident?"
This time, with a little smirk on his face, he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled..."SEE MOM, IT'S JUST GAS!!"
While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly
pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing
happened. I was mortified...but some kind elderly people made me feel a lot
they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had.
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers.
He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper,
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked,
"Is your Daddy home?".
"Yes" whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small
voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?".
"Yes," came the answer.
"May I talk with her?".
Again, the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely
that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a
message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there
any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes", whispered the child. "A policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I
speak with the policeman?".
"No, he's busy.", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?", asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through
the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?".
"A hello-copper.", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked,"
they there?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled
giggle, "They're looking for me!"
In the town where I grew up, there weren't many black people. We very rarely saw any as
kids. When my little sister was about 4 or 5 she saw her first black man. She tugged at my
mom's shirt and in a quiet voice said "Look mom, it's Michael Jackson!" The man
just smiled and waved as he walked by. - Tara Wiseman -
A couple I know is pregnant with their fourth child. When they were in getting an
ultrasound, the nurse asked if they wanted to know what the baby was. The father said they
would, only if it was a girl. The nurse replied, "One of them is."
As a pediatric nurse in a children's hospital, I saw families
that did everything they could to cheer the youngsters up. I was not surprised, then, when
the parents of one little girl sent her a bouquet of helium-filled balloons delivered by
someone dressed up as Miss Piggy including snout mask, jewelry and outlandish
outfit. A small boy stood in wide-eyed amazement as "Miss Piggy" made her
way down the hall and delivered the balloons to the girl. When he couldn't contain his
curiosity any longer, he edged into her room and asked hesitantly, "Is that really
IT WAS the first day of school, after summer vacations and
time for me to pick up the children in my school bus and take them home again. After I had
made the complete run that afternoon, one little boy remained on the bus. Thinking he had
simply missed his stop, I started driving slowly back through the neighborhood and asked
him to be sure to let me know if any of the houses or people looked familiar. The boy sat
in his seat contentedly and shook his head whenever I asked him if he recognized a person
or place. After the second unsuccessful tour of the area, I started back to the school to
ask for his address. When we arrived, the child got off the bus and started walking away.
"Wait!" I called. "We have to go inside and find out where you live. '
"I live right there," he said, pointing to a house across the street. "I
just always wanted to ride in a school bus."
OUR son started helping out at a nearby garden center when he
was barely eleven. I was anxious about his reaction to his first morning on the job, so I
stopped by to check on him. I found him kneeling on the ground potting some flowers.
"How ya doing, Bryan?" I asked. "Okay-I guess." I sensed something was
wrong. Then I saw a tear trickling down his cheek. "When I came to work this
morning," he explained, sniffling, "they said they'd pay me fifty cents an hour.
I've been here three hours now, and nobody's been around with my fifty
AS A single parent, I know that my ten year-old daughter has
learned to do without many extras. Some time ago, to make things up to her, I promised to
buy her toys as soon as I got a raise. A while later, my boss went on vacation and
arranged for me to watch his dog, cats and parrot. The night before he was due back, we
went to feed the animals for the last time. As my daughter busied herself with the parrot,
I couldn't believe my ears. She was bombarding the hapless bird with: "Mommy needs a
raise! Mommy needs a raise! Mommy needs a raise!" I got the raise;
she got the toys.
When the mother returned from the grocery store,
her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he
spread the animal shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are
you doing?" his mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is
broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
A mother was teaching her three-year-old
daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after
her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened
with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end. "And
lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail,
WHEN I was a tour guide at the Alexander Graham Bell
Homestead in Brantford, Ont., I found it amusing to watch young people attempting to
reconcile present-day life with activities of 100 years ago. One father, trying to
interest his restless young son in the Bell family history, pointed out one photograph and
said, "Look, Paul, it says here that both of Alexander's brothers died of TB."
The boy's eyes widened, his attention had been caught, and he cried, "Why? Did they
watch too much?"
A TEACHER at our high school noticed a group of young
children wandering around the halls. They were dressed in costumes, and he assumed they
were in a ballet being rehearsed in the auditorium. He asked if they were looking for the
bathroom and they said they were. Unable to tell their sex because of the costumes and
anxious to direct them to the correct room, he asked, "Are you little boys or little
girls?" "Neither," they chorused. "We're squirrels."
WHILE working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a
glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
A MOTHER sent her little boy outside to watch the
construction workers who were building a house next door. "Maybe you could learn
something," she said. An hour later the boy came back inside. "What did you
learn?" asked the mother. "Well, first you take a @/'*%o'?#@ door and then
you try to fit it into the $/'*%'?#@ doorway. If it doesn't fit, you shave off its
$/'*%'?#@ bottom. Then you put on the $/'*%'?#@ hardware, and that's how you hang a
door." The mother was appalled by her son's language. "I want you to
repeat that for your father when he gets home," she said. Later the boy told his
father the story just as he had told it to his mother. "Son," the father
said, "go outside and fetch me a switch." "Heck, no," replied
the boy. "That's the $/'*%'?#@ electrician's job."
As I sat by the open window one morning, I heard my
three-year-old son and his two friends planning to play heroes. "I'm Superman,"
one boy said. "I'm Spiderman," yelled the other, Then, with great joy, I heard
my son say, "I'll be Terry Fox."
MY HUSBAND took our two young daughters on a visit to a
museum in Vancouver. The children were enchanted with the many displays, especially those
that featured life like mannequins or "dummies" as their father explained to
them. Finally they had had enough. As my husband led the children towards the
main doors, the five-year-old suddenly stopped, pointed at the receptionist sitting
motionless at her desk and piped in her clear, high voice, "Look Daddy, we haven't
seen that dummy yet."
HAVING had a disagreement with our five-year-old son, Kelly,
on the way home from visiting neighbors, we went down to the cattle shelter to check the
cows that were due to calf. Kelly stormed off into the house. When we returned he had
disappeared. At first we weren't worried, but after an hour had passed, Dad and sister
went out in the truck looking for him, and I phoned the neighbors. It was getting dark and
the temperature had dropped. As my husband and daughter were returning home they saw
a small dark figure slowly moving toward the house. It was Kelly! We decided
to pretend nothing was wrong. Covered in mud, he finally came through the back door
and threw his suitcase on the floor. "It's too cold," he said, "I'll leave
in the spring."
OUR next-door neighbour's dog Cleo was about to have pups.
Thinking it would be a good learning experience for several of the youngsters in our area,
we agreed that when delivery time came we would let them have a ringside seat around a
child's small inflated rubber pool that was now Cleo's bed. When Cleo's time
arrived, we herded the youngsters into the playroom to witness the miracle of birth.
Each child was impressed as Cleo began bringing forth her litter. I casually
remarked to the group of children and in particular to Michael, my four- year-old son,
that this was how I brought him and his sister into the world. Visibly impressed,
Michael blurted in amazement. "You had me like this? In a swimming pool?"
MY SIX-YEAR-OLD daughter showed me a picture of a fat cat she
had drawn. I asked her what kind it was and she told me it was a cat that was going
to have kittens. "See, I'll show you," she said. Carefully she outlined in
pencil four very small kittens inside the cat's body. I then asked, "Do you know how
they got there?" Looking at me seriously, she said, "Of course I know. I
WHILE we were driving one day, my seven-year-old son noticed
a speed limit sign and asked what 50 km/h meant. I explained that one could not drive
faster than 50 kilometers an hour. After a slight pause he said, "But what if you
don't want to stay out for an hour?"
WHEN my five-year-old had a friend in to play, I was pleased
to see them using their imagination, without the aid of television or toys. My
pleasure was short-lived, however, because my son suddenly announced, "We will return
to this game after a word from our sponsors." Their game resumed after a minute of
MY BEST lesson in child psychology came when I saw our
five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy poodle's leash. Suddenly his fuming father
appeared and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry you are?" "I
don't know how much you saw!" Steven stammered.
OVER coffee, my wife was telling a friend how sick our
five-year-old had been as a baby. Our son was listening intently as she described our
sitting with him in hospital night and day, afraid he would not live. Suddenly he grabbed
her arm and asked, "Did I die?"
WE HAD spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new
house in town. Early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us
up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20
minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed,
"everybody has doorbells - and they all work."
MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD asked if his best friend, a five-year-old
girl, could spend the night. I said she could. Shortly after she arrived they began
to fight, so I stepped in and insisted they apologize and make up. When my son refused,
his friend said, "Well, I guess this means I have to sleep on the couch!"
OUR son, a doctor, and his wife were expecting their second
child. They already had a three-year-old son, Adam. They decided to be quite open with
Adam in preparing him for the new arrival. Little hands were put on mother's tummy, little
ears listened to heartbeats. The day arrived and a second son, Robert, was born.
Before going to the hospital Adam's father said: "Your mother has a brother
for you called Robert. He's out of Mummy's tummy now and is waiting for you in the
hospital. Do you understand, Adam?" "Oh, yes, yes! I have a
brother named Robert and we're going to see him." Our son was greatly relieved
that Adam had understood the biological lessons. When the two arrived at the
hospital, there was an elderly man in a wheelchair awaiting discharge. Adam marched
up to him, threw his arms around him and said, "Hello! You must be
WHEN my seven-year-old son asked what I did before I married
Daddy, I told him I had been a bookkeeper. Several weeks later, the principal of his
school called and inquired if I would consider taking on the position of the school's
MY SISTER's little girl, though only four years old, had a
passion for furs. To quell the little girl fantasy of dressing up, my sister finally gave
her a brown squirrel jacket that had seen better days and might otherwise have been thrown
out. My niece was thrilled, and that jacket became a constant companion.
Whatever the weather or the time of the day, it had to be the first and last consideration
in the choosing of the little girl's apparel. My niece's imagination showed no
bounds when, while in a shopping center (it was 33° C outside) a lady stopped her and
said, "I certainly do like your jacket, dear." Her reply, given in
confidence, "Thank you . . . I know it's old, but it's mink."
AFTER losing my four-year-old in a crowded department store
for the second time in a week, I headed straight for the Personnel Department. Sure
enough, there he was with the couple who had found him, and the salesman who recognized me
from the time before. I thanked them and explained how he had wandered away from me again.
"That's funny," the salesman said, "he told us that he wasn't lost, but
that you had taken off on him again."
WHEN our son Patrick was five, we still marked all his
Christmas presents "from Santa Claus." A couple of hours after they had been
opened on Christmas Day, I noticed that he seemed quite glum, for no apparent reason. What
was the matter? "Well," said Patrick. Long pause. "Well, I really thought
you and Mommy would give me something for Christmas."
MY SON Derek and his friend Casey, both five years old, were
playing noisily in a large box in the basement. I poked my head down the stairway and
discovered they were pretending to be pirates sailing across the ocean. Joining the
fun, I started pushing them around the basement. When I decided it was time for a storm to
hit, I rolled the box from side to side and made sounds of thunder. "Tie down the
hatch! Man the lifeboats!" I yelled. Both boys were screaming with
laughter. I increased the roll of the box. "I think we're going over! The
boat's going down, every man for himself!" All of a sudden a terrified look
appeared on Casey's face, and he began to cry. I stopped abruptly, thinking he might
be hurt, and asked "Casey, what's the matter?" "I . . . I can't
SIX-YEAR-OLD Tommy blamed his mother for not trying her best
to convince his father that he should buy a bicycle for him. "I did try my
best," his mother said. "You didn't cry day and night the way you did when
you wanted a new fur coat.
THE bus passenger, trying to save a few cents, hurried her
young daughter aboard without paying the child's fare. "How old are you, little
girl?" the bus driver asked. "Four-and-a-half," she answered.
"And when will you be five? the driver persisted. "Just as soon as I get
off the bus."
I HAD taken my five-year-old daughter to the supermarket one
hot summer day. An attractive young black woman in a brightly coloured flowered
dress was pushing her basket in the opposite direction and we kept passing her as we
turned up each aisle. My daughter had never seen a black person and her eyes
sparkled with interest. When we reached the checkout the young woman was in front of
us. "Mommy?" my little girl said. "Mommy?" she said again. Then, in a
whisper, "Mommy? Isn't it a pretty dress that lady's wearing!"
A FRIEND called to say how impressed she had been with my
son's manners at the birthday party for her seven year-old son. The first thing my son had
said on arrival was: "Hello, Mrs. King. In case I forget, I'd like to say that I had
a very nice time."
WE HAD just moved to a small town when we went to a party to
meet our new neighbours. On the way home, my parents mentioned one family who had adopted
a child although they had five of their own. They were all blond and blue-eyed, while the
six-year-old adopted daughter, who happened to be the same age as their own youngest girl,
was Asian. My six-year-old brother, who had been playing with those two children that
night, was skeptical. "Which one," he demanded to know, "was adopted?"
WHEN I took my 4 1/2 -year-old cousin to a carnival in
Ottawa, I bought her a helium balloon. She carried it around all day without breaking or
losing it. After we returned to my house, she began running around, tripped and let
go of the balloon. Tearfully, she watched it disappear into the clouds. Then her face
brightened, and she said, "I wish I hadn't let it go. But won't God be